Edited

Things have been a little more laid back these past 2 weeks. We've only had one test since the dreaded test debacle, and it could have been worse. Most of my class took it easy this past weekend, and we're now putting our noses back in the books to get ready for the tornado of December. We'll have a test in Phys and Histo the first week of the month, then Monday Dec. 7 we'll have our final gross anatomy test, followed 2 days later by the board exam--and then we'll be done with gross anatomy foreverrrrrrrrrrr!!! (assuming we all pass :/) then one week later we'll have a cumulative biochem exam, followed by the biochem board exam that friday, Dec. 18. SO, in other words, I ask that you keep my classmates and I in your prayers--that we'll finish strong and finish well. All I care about is passing, honestly :)


Moving on, I'd like to mention the fact that I've now been back from Germany longer than I was over there. I can't explain how weird that is to say out loud. It's unbelievable that the same amount of time I was in Germany has already been spent in America again. I wish words wouldn't fail me, but sometimes there's no explaining feelings. As I mentioned in a previous post, I haven't allowed myself to fully dwell on my time there. With school starting so soon after I got back, I didn't think emotionally I could handle it. So I avoided thinking about Jan-June. And here it is, November 17, and I'm still avoiding it.

Don't get me wrong--I haven't forgotten. No way in this lifetime could that happen. And I don't neglect thinking about Germany at all--on the contrary, I am reminded of it in little ways every day. I just refer to the whole experience--the things I learned, the memories I made, the lessons that were taught, the smiles and laughter, and of course, the tears. There's just.. gosh, why can't I put this into words? I just can't handle all the memories rushing back to me at once. I pray that God will show the right time, and I will eventually stop adding layers of bricks to the wall around the memories. Maybe I'll let them come bursting through. For now, I focus on my studies and relish in the fact that I changed in Germany, came back an "edited" version of me, and will hopefully allow myself to change more--for the good, of course. The world is big, and I'm ready to see more of it.


I'm including some fun shots of my teammates and I on our many adventures throughout Germany. We had some fun times with the camera. The last few pictures are some shots of the beautiful country that I do miss, and I hope that I'll have the opportunity, once more, to photograph it.

Wow! Where have I been? Well, it turns out that after those 11 days of, um, horrible life, I realized that I had yet another round of tests just like it. Starting last Friday and until this coming Friday, I have 5 tests. I'm through with 4 of them (cue the choir singing praises), and I am still alive. My grades? barely hanging on. Either way, I'm still here and alive. I'm LOVING the fact that it's already November... although it's kind of bittersweet. I need more time to have grades I'm satisfied with, but at the same time, I just want to be through with this semester. I think I'll settle for being done soon--so soon that I can say I'm finished NEXT MONTH! December 18, 2009, exactly 44 days and 22 hours away, my life will have a pause, a break, a hiatus, a moment. to. breathe.

We have 2 weeks off for Christmas, and I don't think I've had a Christmas break which I yearned for more. I don't know how I'll get all I want to do, done, while at the same time doing absolutely nothing. I think I'll manage either way. I hate not having the opportunity to be there for my friends and be a part of their lives. I will do my best to make up for it after this semester. For now, text messages, emails, blog stalking, and the occasional phone call will have to suffice.

Happy fall.. and I hope everyone's Halloween was more entertaining than mine! Here's a shot from the hour I really enjoyed my costume. Nikki and I on the trolley to the UMC Halloween party:

11 long days...

Just wanted to check in and mention that I think I'm officially experiencing the toughest 11 days of my life. From October 9 to October 19, I have 5 tests--pretty much one in every subject I'm taking, along with being a bridesmaid in a wedding this coming weekend (the 17th). But, I've made it through 3 of the tests, 1 of which was hands down the hardest of the 5. I'm pushing through, and once this is all over, I'll officially be over halfway through school :))))))

A random occurrence did put an interesting twist on my study time this week--a corneal abrasion. AKA scratch on my eye. How, you might ask? Beats me. I went to bed with an irritated eye Sunday night, and I awoke Monday morning with a red eye, watering and hurting. I decided that I would tough it out with my contacts because we had our gross anatomy test that afternoon (and who wants to be wearing glasses when you play with someone intestines?). Lo and behold, I went to the doc tuesday morning because things weren't any better and what do they tell me? I scratched my eye and have to wear an EYE PATCH for 24 hours.

If you've never worn an eye patch, let me tell you--it's weird. And don't be mistaken--its not the black pirate eye patch you're thinking about. It's a white patch that is taped onto my face. I am not allowed to drive (rightly so), nor do I have any depth perception. In fact, when I woke up this morning with it, I totally missed my toothbrush when I was trying to apply toothpaste. I skipped class, headed to the doc, and found out I have to wear a patch for ANOTHER 24 hours. For real. This time, I plan on drawing a skull and cross bones to dress it up for class tomorrow. Anyways, I'm off to read about biochemistry with one eye. Over and out!

"Hey Day, you better sleep with one eye open, just like when you're awake!!!"
Beth Brownlee

Hat made by Jodi--paper hat extraordinaire.

Heart and Soul

Well hello October!



A few things have happened in these last few weeks in September. We actually had a nice change in weather--weather that would actually constitute fall weather. We've had the kind of temperatures that make you actually want to stay outside, whether to study or to play frisbee. Although, I'm sure we'd all choose the latter of the two.

I've been busy with school, as always. We've had tests in every subject, thus far, and in some cases, two or three. I'm seeing what I'm up against--and I'm not gonna lie, it's kind of intimidating. Not enough to keep me from going up against it, but enough to keep me aware that there's no way you can survive medical school without proper preparation. That's always fun to learn the hard way. There have been some pretty cool things happen--like the fact that I got to use a bone saw, and I've now held the heart and lungs in my hands. Let me tell you--your heart is a lot bigger than you think.

I feel pretty terrible about my lack of communication with my friends and family. I take all the blame, but I know that as much as I hate neglecting time on the phone and in person, I know that it will be better after Christmas. So apologies to any of you reading this blog.

As far as my walk with Christ goes, cool things are happening. I've already had a great moment that answered my question as to whether or not I need to pursue medicine. The answer is yes, by the way. That makes all this 10x more bearable. I didn't realize how much of a difference that could make. This semester, like the past spring semester, makes me rely on God fully. I can tell when I don't. He provides, always, and I can't believe how lucky I am to have his undying love.

I still think about Dresden often, and I pray for the people of that city.

Have a great day... and enjoy all the beautiful weather you can!

3 months

So I have officially been back in the U.S. for over three months. We hit the 3 month marker about 5 days ago. Wait a minute... is that right? Has it really been that long?

I still have a hard time thinking about my time there. I know my trip to Germany was not easy, but in my own way, I do miss it. I haven't let myself think about Germany in quite awhile. With school constantly going, I just push my memories to a dark, far-away corner in my mind... a place where I can dig through later. Don't get me wrong; I have constant reminders that I went there, that I spent 5 months experiencing another culture, and that I came back changed. I will never go a day without thinking about my time, if only for a few seconds.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I have not let myself relive January through June. You know when you look at pictures and remember each detail of how the photo came to be, of the before and after moments, of the conversation that led to the picture? I haven't done that. I'm a tad bit scared. Honestly, I have not looked through most of my photo albums upon my return. It's something I've been putting off. I've been on trips before; I've experienced the bittersweet emotions, but this is different. This trip was like no other. When God wants to change you, there's no stopping Him. Sometimes it hurts during the process of changing, but when you look back, you miss that time.

I know I'm not making sense. It's taken me this long to even form those thoughts I've just written into words. I think I'm scared to relive some of the emotions I had while I was over there. On top of those emotions, I'll have new ones, from a different perspective... the "after I've had to time to think about it" perspective. One day I'll be a big girl and do that, but for now, know that I miss Germany.

Nice cut

Well, as of Monday evening, I made it through my first gross anatomy tests. If you need to ask me about your arm, or back, just holler. I may (or may not) be able to answer it. It was actually quite entertaining to take the practical. Let me just set up the scene for you. Imagine about 40 metal boxes, elevated to about elbow level, long enough for a man of average height. All of them are open, with a dead body raised up either face up or down (faces covered). We walk in and go to an assigned table/box and begin. We must recognize what nerve/artery/vein/muscle/bone/ligament is tagged. After 1 minute and 10 seconds, an alarm goes off, and we move on. In a nutshell, it something like "musical cadavers" as my roommate puts it. We get our grades back tomorrow, so I may not be in such a great mood!

Another fun thing that happened today--I, for the first time ever (thank goodness), used a bone saw. On my cadaver, of course. It was quite empowering! There I was, holding an electric saw, vibrating in my hand, as a slowly cut through bone. My lab partner and I cut the front half of the rib cage off so that we could see our cadaver's lungs.... and wow. It..was...aawweeesooomme. We haven't seen the heart yet, but we're all meeting in lab on Friday to take it out. I have told about 140 different people today (yes, I'm exaggerating) because I felt like it was "something to write home about." I may have a heck of a time getting used to this whole non-social life/studying-my-brain-to-mush lifestyle, but at least some pretty cool perks come along with it!

Hope everyone is doing well. I hate that I don't talk to many people often, but I promise that come December I will be back to normal. Thanks for reading!

Happy Birthday Mama!

OK, so my mom's birthday was on Tuesday of this week. It's saturday. Yeah yeah whatever. Either way, I just want to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY again to her. Don't worry, I talked to her plenty on the actual day, but now that I'm supposed to be studying for my gross anatomy tests on Monday, I naturally opted to write a blog instead.

Thank you so much for everything you do, Mama. I can't begin to describe how lucky I am to have you in my life. If you weren't the mom you are, I honestly don't think I would have done half the stuff that I did. Germany included. I thank the Lord that he gave me an organized and self-sacrificial mother because we both know that I'm not exactly "on top of things." I know I'm 24 years old and should probably be better, but you always come in and save me from the mess that I've somehow gotten myself into (due mostly to my procrastination). You've raised my siblings to be wonderful young adults, to whom I am proud to be related :) I hope that you've had a great week, and I love you with all of my heart. Our God knew what he was doing when he made you for us, for dad, and for this world.

Here are some great pictures for meine Mutter!

Mother, sister, and I at Miss Mississippi pageant

Ma and I in Dresden, visiting Grosser Garten

Corky taking mom for a spin at Todd and REB's wedding reception

Mama and I waiting for Michael Buble to serenade us

It was cold as we went to visit the Blue Wonder by the Elbe in Dresden!