Heart and Soul

Well hello October!



A few things have happened in these last few weeks in September. We actually had a nice change in weather--weather that would actually constitute fall weather. We've had the kind of temperatures that make you actually want to stay outside, whether to study or to play frisbee. Although, I'm sure we'd all choose the latter of the two.

I've been busy with school, as always. We've had tests in every subject, thus far, and in some cases, two or three. I'm seeing what I'm up against--and I'm not gonna lie, it's kind of intimidating. Not enough to keep me from going up against it, but enough to keep me aware that there's no way you can survive medical school without proper preparation. That's always fun to learn the hard way. There have been some pretty cool things happen--like the fact that I got to use a bone saw, and I've now held the heart and lungs in my hands. Let me tell you--your heart is a lot bigger than you think.

I feel pretty terrible about my lack of communication with my friends and family. I take all the blame, but I know that as much as I hate neglecting time on the phone and in person, I know that it will be better after Christmas. So apologies to any of you reading this blog.

As far as my walk with Christ goes, cool things are happening. I've already had a great moment that answered my question as to whether or not I need to pursue medicine. The answer is yes, by the way. That makes all this 10x more bearable. I didn't realize how much of a difference that could make. This semester, like the past spring semester, makes me rely on God fully. I can tell when I don't. He provides, always, and I can't believe how lucky I am to have his undying love.

I still think about Dresden often, and I pray for the people of that city.

Have a great day... and enjoy all the beautiful weather you can!

3 months

So I have officially been back in the U.S. for over three months. We hit the 3 month marker about 5 days ago. Wait a minute... is that right? Has it really been that long?

I still have a hard time thinking about my time there. I know my trip to Germany was not easy, but in my own way, I do miss it. I haven't let myself think about Germany in quite awhile. With school constantly going, I just push my memories to a dark, far-away corner in my mind... a place where I can dig through later. Don't get me wrong; I have constant reminders that I went there, that I spent 5 months experiencing another culture, and that I came back changed. I will never go a day without thinking about my time, if only for a few seconds.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I have not let myself relive January through June. You know when you look at pictures and remember each detail of how the photo came to be, of the before and after moments, of the conversation that led to the picture? I haven't done that. I'm a tad bit scared. Honestly, I have not looked through most of my photo albums upon my return. It's something I've been putting off. I've been on trips before; I've experienced the bittersweet emotions, but this is different. This trip was like no other. When God wants to change you, there's no stopping Him. Sometimes it hurts during the process of changing, but when you look back, you miss that time.

I know I'm not making sense. It's taken me this long to even form those thoughts I've just written into words. I think I'm scared to relive some of the emotions I had while I was over there. On top of those emotions, I'll have new ones, from a different perspective... the "after I've had to time to think about it" perspective. One day I'll be a big girl and do that, but for now, know that I miss Germany.

Nice cut

Well, as of Monday evening, I made it through my first gross anatomy tests. If you need to ask me about your arm, or back, just holler. I may (or may not) be able to answer it. It was actually quite entertaining to take the practical. Let me just set up the scene for you. Imagine about 40 metal boxes, elevated to about elbow level, long enough for a man of average height. All of them are open, with a dead body raised up either face up or down (faces covered). We walk in and go to an assigned table/box and begin. We must recognize what nerve/artery/vein/muscle/bone/ligament is tagged. After 1 minute and 10 seconds, an alarm goes off, and we move on. In a nutshell, it something like "musical cadavers" as my roommate puts it. We get our grades back tomorrow, so I may not be in such a great mood!

Another fun thing that happened today--I, for the first time ever (thank goodness), used a bone saw. On my cadaver, of course. It was quite empowering! There I was, holding an electric saw, vibrating in my hand, as a slowly cut through bone. My lab partner and I cut the front half of the rib cage off so that we could see our cadaver's lungs.... and wow. It..was...aawweeesooomme. We haven't seen the heart yet, but we're all meeting in lab on Friday to take it out. I have told about 140 different people today (yes, I'm exaggerating) because I felt like it was "something to write home about." I may have a heck of a time getting used to this whole non-social life/studying-my-brain-to-mush lifestyle, but at least some pretty cool perks come along with it!

Hope everyone is doing well. I hate that I don't talk to many people often, but I promise that come December I will be back to normal. Thanks for reading!

Happy Birthday Mama!

OK, so my mom's birthday was on Tuesday of this week. It's saturday. Yeah yeah whatever. Either way, I just want to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY again to her. Don't worry, I talked to her plenty on the actual day, but now that I'm supposed to be studying for my gross anatomy tests on Monday, I naturally opted to write a blog instead.

Thank you so much for everything you do, Mama. I can't begin to describe how lucky I am to have you in my life. If you weren't the mom you are, I honestly don't think I would have done half the stuff that I did. Germany included. I thank the Lord that he gave me an organized and self-sacrificial mother because we both know that I'm not exactly "on top of things." I know I'm 24 years old and should probably be better, but you always come in and save me from the mess that I've somehow gotten myself into (due mostly to my procrastination). You've raised my siblings to be wonderful young adults, to whom I am proud to be related :) I hope that you've had a great week, and I love you with all of my heart. Our God knew what he was doing when he made you for us, for dad, and for this world.

Here are some great pictures for meine Mutter!

Mother, sister, and I at Miss Mississippi pageant

Ma and I in Dresden, visiting Grosser Garten

Corky taking mom for a spin at Todd and REB's wedding reception

Mama and I waiting for Michael Buble to serenade us

It was cold as we went to visit the Blue Wonder by the Elbe in Dresden!

Much easier than writing a new post.

Finish these sentences...
Maybe I should...be studying for my biochem and genetics tests that are on tuesday..
My ex is....nonexistent.
I love...serving people.
People would say that I am....obsessed with watching movies.
I don't understand...how people think we'll understand all about the human body.
When I wake up in the morning...I should not hold a conversation for at least an hour.
I have lost...some memories that I wish I still had.
Life is full of...opportunities to see the world.
My past has taught me...that God seriously knows what He's doing.
I get annoyed...when I don't mark off all of my to-do list.
Parties are...the best when people dress up.
Dogs...are waaaay better than cats.
Cats...are worthless.
Tomorrow is...the beginning of the wonderful Labor Day weekend!
I have a low tolerance for...poor grammar.
If I had a million dollars...I'd travel to New Zealand.
I am terrified..of going blind.
I've come to realize that my last kiss...was something I don't think much about.
I am listening to...Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers soundtrack.. because that's some great study music.
I talk...on the phone more than necessary.
My friends... are so dependable and encouraging.
My first real kiss...is a quite a funny story to tell.
Love is...why I exist.
Marriage is...something you need to make sure you're ready for.
Somewhere, someone is thinking....about peanut butter.
I'll always...remember the Alamo.
The last time I really cried...was something I don't want to relive.
My cell phone is...how I stay in touch with friends.
Before I go to bed...I read my daily Bible.
Right now I am thinking about...how excited I am to drive home and see my family!
Babies...are no where in my near future.
Today I...did an awesome Arnold Schwarzenegger impression.
I really want to...already be done with medical school :)

Case o' bones

So test block one--finished and done. I do not know how I did, but I'm ok with that because I want to put it off as long as possible....I'm rewarding myself by doing nothing school related today, and I'm loving every minute of it. As I only got 4 hours of sleep before my test last night, I've already covered the basic reward: a nap. Now what to do? We'll see. I really want to get out of the house before I get cabin fever.

Anyways, my main point of posting is to tell you this interesting tid bit. In my house, at this very moment, sits a box, or suitcase (whichever you prefer), of human bones. Yes, real human bones. Weird, isn't it? They're only from the vertebral column, but its enough to fit a case that would normally carry a trumpet or some other musical instrument. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's what the case is. But instead of carry a normal band instrument, we have some bones. We're supposed to look at them closely, identify them, you know, whatever you're supposed to do with bones. Can't wait.

Anyways, off to make myself look normal after that deep sleep nap. Happy Wednesday!

A week through doctor land

typing as I'm thinking..

So, I've been a little absent from the blog world. A lot of things have been occupying my time--mostly school. I had a week long orientation last week, being overloaded with random information that I couldn't recall if you asked me to. It's ok, though, because who needs it anyway? Well, I hope I won't really need it. I met several of my new classmates and found out how many were feeling the same things I was feeling--anxiety, excitement, etc. I made it through the week, which was harder than I expected due to the lack of sleep (remember, I'm the get up around 10:30 or 11 type person).

This week began with classes. They hit in full force. I'm talking category 5 hurricane. Here I am, on Saturday, spending the lovely day inside, reading notes on my computer from lectures. We have our first block test this coming Wednesday, covering 3 different subjects. One of the subjects is Biochem. I was quickly reminded of my loathing for this subject.

I've been out of school for a little over 2 years now, so when I walk into my classroom and see over 100 computers staring back at me, I'm still caught off guard. Everyone has one (requirement, of course). You won't see anyone (almost) taking notes by hand. I actually haven't even bought a notebook. I wonder how long that will last.

Anyways, I will try to update here, but my life won't be particularly interesting over the next 4 months. We start gross anatomy next week, so I'll steal my first glimpse of my future dissectee. Maybe I'll find something neat on my cadaver in lab to tell you all about. We'll see. Anyways, hope everyone else is doing well.